Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
