I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
