32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Randomize
