How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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