My Higher Power is John Stamos
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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