Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Randomize
