try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize
