if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Randomize
