Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Randomize
