I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
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