wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Randomize
