Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
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