Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
We are two peas in an std pod
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Randomize
