He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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