East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
