we're chasing vodka with high fives
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
