It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
