He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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