You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
tonight lets celebrate not being married
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
