Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
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