Where are you?
In a non slutty way
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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