where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
