as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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