my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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