12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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