you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!�
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
