I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize
