i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
