Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
