I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
Randomize
