Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
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