Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Randomize
