The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
