My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
