Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
