so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
She told me I should be a condom model.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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