Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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