It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Randomize
