How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
