the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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