That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
