and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Randomize
