I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Randomize