He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Randomize
