What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.�
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
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