Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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