so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Randomize
