just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
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