i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
