Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
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