You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Randomize
