No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
