just come out here and I will go home with you...
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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