Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
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