I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
