Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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