That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
