I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
