Got a toothbrush?
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
